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"Help me, PLEASE!!", the tiny man
shouted. But Andy could barely hear anything. Bill, usually
5'9", had been reduced to 1/87th of his normal height.
This amounted to an astonishing 0.793 inches. Everything Eric did
was in thousandths of an inch. It was an incredible feat for the
time and Eric was very proud. Andy had come over to help on
Saturday morning at 7 as was their usual time, but Andy was breathless
by this new addition to the layout. "How do you make it move?" he
asked. Eric stated calmly "You know how I've been experimenting
with smaller and smaller mechanisms? Well, I've finally figured
out how to get a processor to generate the movement like a video game in
three dimensions!" "Yeah, but, how do you make it move?" Andy was
still unsure of the mechanics involved. Eric hadn't anticipated
that question and so, he bluffed an answer. "It's really too
complicated to talk about without getting into Fermi-Dirac Equations and
magnetic flux in spherical coordinates." "Let's just say it's done
through external forces" "I really got the idea from the last GATS
show where they were advertising the world's smallest train, and it was
driven by air through holes in the bottom. It really didn't have a
motor in it." Eric was obviously now satisfied with the
explanation as his eyes widened, his head raised then lowered in a
bobbing motion with the words "Ohhhhhh" drawn out to show the
questioning was at an end, at least for the moment.
"Let's take a look at that engine you're having trouble with" Eric said,
trying to draw attention away from the tiny man. Andy said, "Ok,
here it is", handing the engine that he had purchased two years ago from
a less than reputable vendor. Eric said, "What seems to be wrong
with it" as he immediately started to pull the shell off of the GP30 for
about the 3rd time this year. The conversation got lost, as Eric
worked, in the usual mix of model railroad mechanics and scenery
techniques as well as some philosophical discussions of family,
business, politics and religion. These were important times for
Eric because he had found, after many years, a person that he could
share, at least on a non-technical nature, his ideas, and get someone to
actually take them serious, with a flair for discussion and joking, not
unlike his own. But now he was worried that Andy might find out.
It wasn't long before Andy had to go. His wife had yet another
Saturday afternoon project that he needed to complete, but Eric was glad
for the little time they had together. He was now left alone with
Bill and was very angry. "Don't ever do that again" he shouted. "What do
you mean? You shrunk me to the size of a pea and you expect me to remain
this way forever? What kind of maniac are you anyways?" Bill
squealed. Eric replied, "Well, look at it this way, I'll provide
your every need and you will never have to work again. I can make
you a mansion for $12.00. All of your needs can be met for
pennies." Eric was quite proud of himself. Bill was not.
He said "You idiot, what makes you think that a plastic house with no
furniture, one light bulb the size of the whole kitchen in the middle of
the house, which by the way puts off the heat and light of 1000 bulbs,
will meet my life's expectations?" "And besides, how about other
essentials like companionship, eating out, travel?" Eric got a
puzzled look on his face. Bill was right, he hadn't seen it from
his now miniature perspective but it gave him some great ideas. It
was actually a blessing in disguise. By making these things right
for Bill he will have created the ultimate layout. It will be
right down to the smallest detail. “Wow” he said to Bill, “Not only will
I fix all of those things for you, unlike the relationship you think we
have, I will be your slave instead of your master”. Bill kind of liked
this idea, since Eric was always somewhat of a pain to him in real life.
“When do we get started on the food thing? I’m starved?” Eric went to
the refrigerator and pulled out the usual frozen meatballs to microwave
for a snack. He pulled off some crumbs for Bill. Bill was starting to
rave again “What do you expect me to eat this with, my hands? This is at
least 30 times bigger than my mouth. What if someone had given you a
piece of meat the size of a living room couch without any fork or
knife?” “Wow, this is going to be some challenge, but I like it!” said
Eric shaking his head. |
"You
shrunk me to the size of a pea and you expect me to remain this way forever?
What kind of maniac are you anyways?" Bill squealed.